The bell is still ringing…

So this is my first blog.i don’t know what to write.i have nothing prepared .i think i would just mention that how i thought of starting writing on word press.

Yesterday, i was sitting on my desk ,completing my mathematics homework .well,pretending to do it as i was  finding it really tough and tiring.

I started to stare  at the clock on the opposite wall .i could hear it ticking as no one was home and it was  quiet.i noticed the glorious sunset rays falling on the clock through the window.the rays were crimson, near golden.they were really soothing to the eye.

The setting was just amazing as there was pin drop silence. I closed my eyes ,lay my head on the pillow and relaxed.suddenly, out of nowhere, i started recalling how much have i changed in the past 2 years. 

I used to be that chirpy little girl.socially active ,popular ,an extrovert, friendly and caring.i have changed a lot .i have become dull,quiet,unpopular,kind of an introvert,totally contrary to what i used to be.i have become a tightly closed book(coprising of only some boring chapters )that would never reveal itself.

I found myself in a havoc at that moment .i was not sure that, was that transformation for my betterment or not.i got really upset .i tried to distract my mind by watching some comedy online.but those videos, posts,pictures,memes,jokes,etc. coudnt help.

I knew i wasn’t sad. i knew i was way past that miserably depressing phase.i knew i was satisfied by what all i was left with.i had convinced myself several times that i have made right choices in my life,that i would be happy and successful in future. 

But still something inside me was killing me .i just could not move on.maybe someday i will.maybe i won’t .i did not know .

The doorbell rang and i was woken from my thoughts .i stood up to open the door and realised that my pillow was wet,i realised i was crying.

Those tears were not of sorrow,pain,grief or of happiness, joy and confidence.they were tears of helplessness and confusion.

I went to open the door and saw my sister in front of me.she  had once told me about WordPress .she enjoys writing blogs as she can share her feelings,thoughts, miseries, etc.i also enjoy reading her blogs.

i went to get a glass of water and started thinking that i needed somebody to talk to ,to share my feelings ,thoughts,miseries, happiness with. 

And this is how i came to the conclusion of writings blogs where i can share anything and everything…

P.S. When i heard that doorbell ring and saw myself  crying. i freaked out .i was in a shock.i am still in a shock. I am petrified to know that i still haven’t moved on .that ringing bell reminded be of my Past. But what scares me more is that THE BELL IS STILL RINGING……

-S.S.